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Dear Zita,
I have been married for 8yrs,
have two children and my husband treats me very good. Now I'm 36yrs
old.
20yrs ago I've a bf, he loved me very deep. But after 4yrs, we separated
(not because of third party). And then after a few years I got married,
later he also. But during these years I
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feel I'm not very love my husband
because I always thinking about ex-bf.
Recently I received his call, we know we still love each other very
deeply and always thinking each other. He said if he can chose again
he still chose me and he loves me more than his wife. But now our situation
is not allow us come together. Because each of us have family. We just
only have lunch and phone conversation (we didn't have any sex). Both
of us feel very happy because we can keep as best friend and he can
do anything for me. But he always tell me when he see me, his heart
very sour. Of course me too.
Zita, is it usually a woman marry a man, who is not the most love one?.
Do you think should I still keep this normal relation with ex-bf? I
think if we still keep in touch, it will have some infection to my family.
But I really don't want to give up any occasion for seeing him. How
can I do? Can you teach me?
Rdgs,
Yoyo
Dear Yoyo︰
如果你與前度男友守得住大家的秘密，那麼keep多少年也無問題，底線是不影響雙方的家庭。
倘若前度男友決定先離婚，你也可以考慮同樣的問題。要不然，你只好繼續享受偷情的安慰。
人生很無奈，也無可能非白即黑。嫁了他卻又不是最愛他，這實在很痛苦。
世俗觀念已把你與前度男友分隔開，現在你倆間中見見面，以沖淡當中愁苦，其實一點也不過份。只要在家庭內你依然是好妻子好母親，你有權尋求你的快樂。
倘若你認為不可以兩邊兼顧，你才考慮下一步。只要不傷害到其他人，你有權得到如願的快樂。
深雪覆
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