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Dear Zita,
I'm a 22-year-old lady and I met a 33-year-old man about 4 months ago in a formal party. Afterwards, he started to phone me once nearly everyday even when he was working (except public holidays. He said he is usually with his families on those days). He had dated me and sometimes with
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his friends as well. To accommodate to me, he always arranged the programs as what I like most, e.g. karaoke. He always was a gentleman besides me. He would create reasons to date me to enjoy a wonderful dinner at a very nice restaurant with romantic atmosphere, and then insisted to take me home by his Benz even I tried to say no in a modest way. I'll never forget that night. I strongly felt that there was something magical between us, and we have done nothing beside of normal friends.
However, after the nearly 1.5 happy months, gradually I received no call from him. He said he was always busy and tired…… and gradually I also stopped my phone calls……nearly 1 month. During this period, on the other hand, I built up good relationships with his friends. We usually contact via phone and even appointed each other. Actually I'd like to test his feedback. But from beginning to end, he made no call to me. Instead, his friends sometimes asked me if I had phoned him, just liked to know why I didn't find him! They also seemed to show me hints to show my care of him. They said men also may feel shy and embarrassed, especially when they can't feel a positive feedback from ladies after they show their tenderness in the initial stage. And they'll stop approaching. So I started calling him again, and his first call in the new-year day became my first gift from him in 2001.
I started call him nearly everyday and sometimes appointed him to have dinner with my friends and me. But he tends to bring some other friends to join the gathering, even in a common phone call, he suggested to invite his friend to take part in the conversation. I felt that they always tested me if I loved him. Finally, I dated him to see movie and had dinner with me yesterday. Before we said goodbye, I gave him a little gift which said to thank his free meal and movie. I know he really enjoyed the date. He was still a gentleman but he had not go with me to the bus stop like before.
I decide to stop all my call for one month just after this date, and see what action he'll take. If there is also no feedback, I'll tell myself to let go this dream.
I have no boyfriend before. I am really confused! What's he telling me? Could you please help me, Zita?
Kireine
Dear Kireine︰
我十分欣賞你的做法,步驟完全正確。
很多男人也是這樣,頻密地約會你,但一天,忽然不致電。我相信,他一直傾心於你,只是,不能肯定你是否他心目中的理想對象。
男人會突然變得理智與認真,因為,他不想自己揀錯人。他突然冷淡,就代表他在思考你與他的可能性。
你要做的事已全部做盡了,包括約他單獨見面及送他小禮物。你的心意,他全部收到。
至於他想不想要你,就不是你能控制。
如果他不再理會你,就如你所說的那樣吧,let go。
這代表,他要的不是你。而你,自然另外有對象。
深雪覆
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