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Dear Zita,
I'm only 21 so I guess it's
ok for me to feel very immature and stupid. I guess I know what I should
do, but it might be better if there is somebody like you to give me
a big kick and wake me up.
Because of my boyfriend's work, we have had a long distance relationship
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for about half a year. We love
each other very much, but unfortunately, we still ended up breaking
up two days ago. He is having some problems at work in HK, and he feels
that his life in general is not going well. That's why our relationship
became somewhat a burden for him, and we fought many times because I
complained that there was not enough communication between us. So finally,
he said he had to be left alone and think about our relationship. We
agreed that our relationship could not stand the distance.
During this month, I've been feeling very lonely and upset because my
boyfriend never called me. This is also when one of his friends here
started to ask me out often. I never even dreamed of him romantically.
To me, he was just labelled as "my boyfriend's friend". But
who knows, he started to send me love poems (without telling me to whom
the poems were meant for). Then he started to take me out for dinner,
asked me out to see opera, and tried to get closer and closer to me.
I felt very touched for a short while.
And one night last week, we both got drunk, and I cried to him that
I missed my boyfriend so much but he never called me. He held my hands,
and kissed me so passionately I could not resist. After that time, we
went out for a few more times. Each time he would hold my hands as if
we were a couple. He really is sweet and romantic. The only problem
is that he is so serious with me that I'm getting freaked out. He is
becoming obsessive with me.
I feel like I have done something very immoral. First, this guy is my
boyfriend's (or my ex's) friend. Second, maybe I enjoy this guy's company
and all the physical touch, but I don't love him. I did not reject him
because he made me feel so loved and wanted. I'm just so selfish! Now
he asks me to go with him to a big party and all his friends and co-workers
will be there. I have been avoiding him these two days. Please Zita,
just give me a slap in the face. Thank you.
Dumb Bee
Dear Dumb Bee ︰
你的ex的朋友愛上你，不是你的錯。你以他排解寂寞也不是你的錯。根本，這兩個男人，並不是很好的朋友。
我相信，既然你不愛他，你與他很快會分手，只要時間夠短，便甚麼問題也沒有。
但當然，不要與他手牽手出席公開場合，免得他順便向天下公佈他已得到你。
而我的建議是，如果你不喜歡別人講你閒話，你下次想排解寂寞時，找遠一點關係的男人。
深雪覆
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