Should I stop doing tricks – 覆BB316

Hi Zita,

I really like your website, lots
of issues to read.

I've been living together with my boy friend for almost 6 years. We
study overseas so every year we go back to HK and spend few weeks there.
We're v. happy when living together, just like a married couple, he
cooks for me and I tidy up stuff for him. However, every time we goes
to HK,


I feel v. worried because
he's always "busy" and especially there's his "best"
friend K. I know the existence of K since we lived together because
every year, she sends him birthday present, moon cake during mid-autumn
festival and sending postcard when she travels...

We argued 4 yrs ago when I found out he hide the photos and stickers
between K and him. However, he claimed there's nothing between them
and to please me, he threw away all those photos.

I seldom ask specific details about my bf's stuff because I believe
as long as he feels like talking to me, he'll talk, I just don't want
to be a busy body. He does the same to me.

However, recently I can't stand on his attitute (attitude) because K
calls/SMS him everyday and I've found out they send each other email
every month, e-card... Luckily he is on the 'passive' side, i.e. she's
always the one to contact first, content is not intimate but I can see
K wants more from him. For example, ask/remind him to buy presents,
miss him etc but she? never mentioned me in email, I'm not sure if
she knows my existence.

I confronted this with him a week ago, and just asked about their relationship
(he didn't say much) and why he never introduced her to me if there
that "close" (he said I'll not like her. not telling me coz afraid
I'll be upset... something like this and also no need to introduce every
friend of his, just his family knows me is enough! And he sworn he told
K about me. Should I trust this?

Actually he cried when he discussed these issues (so was I), he just
disappointed cos I suspected him too easily, and he's loyal to me in
this 6 yrs... am I too sensitive?

I understand my bf's weakness is too kind to everyone, he has lots of
friends esp. girl and most of them (the one lives overseas) know my
existence but they still always ask for favour from my bf (e.g. lift,
borrow stuff) Perhaps his quality is too attractive (tall, smart, professional),
I'm just afraid someone will try to take him away from me. So I'm always
in a defensive position, by doing some tricks to let the girls think
he doesn't care about them (e.g. delete all the missed calls so that
he never calls back etc) this helps a bit, miss k and other are v. quiet
recently.

However, I don't want to be too strategic in the longer term, just want
to live happily thereafter. Should I stop doing tricks and just close
my eyes and let him do whatever he likes? Moreover, we'll live overseas
for the rest as long as we're together, so the chances for him to date
K are very rare, should I stop worrying this? I just get sick of arguing
with him cos it seems I'm always the loser. (my talking skills are v.weak
and I can? think quickly.)

We're fine now, cos I just get back to who I was, never ask, never argue?ut
still in my mind I'm very confused. Thanks for your help.

Cheers,


BB316


Dear BB316︰

好男人一定多人搶,現實就是這樣無情,你要好好面對。

尤幸,你的男友真的愛你,定力也夠,因此,你還是佔上風。

你不要把那些女人上心,你只要令男友知道你是最好、最重要、最不可或缺的,那麼,他就離不開你。

你們的不完美是男友太多女人想搶,這樣看來,也很完美呀!

深雪覆

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