Dear Zita,

This is the first time I write
to you, and also to a love advisor. I really wish you could help get
over this pain and torture.

I had been with this boyfriend for almost a year. We met when we worked
together in a project. He always says he loves me, but

because he is a foreigner,
lives in another country, and having a dominant mother who does not
like Chinese, he can never marry me. We broke up at the end of last
year because of that. Out of the pain, I went into the hospital, visited
psychologists. I tried everything to try to get over but all were useless.
Eventually, I agreed to his suggestion to be just his friend, so that
I could keep in touch with him and ease my sorrow.

During Christmas we spent a lot of time seeing each other. The last
day before he went back to his home for a break, he kissed me again.
When he came back to HK after the New Year, he asked me if I realised
that soon he had to return home and never come back to HK. I said yes,
and I did not ask him to stay for me. I just asked not to kill our love.
I believed if we both work on it, even though it would be difficult,
we could still maintain our relationship. But he refused to do so. He
said he did not want to maintain a relationship like that...

We continued living as a couple, with a deadline before us. Eventually,
he showed such love and intimacy for me that was more than a friend.
I asked if he took me as his girlfriend again, he said yes. He even
introduced me to his friends and colleagues as his girlfriend. On the
day he left HK, he agreed to come back to visit me, and that I could
visit him and call him anytime I want...

Since then I tried very hard to keep the relation. However, recently
I find that he has cool down. Last night over the phone, he told me
that we should get on with our own lives. When I said I didn't understand
why he treated me as his girlfriend but stop once he left, he put the
blaim (blame) on me that I keep dreaming, and never accepted the fact
that we are now living in 2 countries, that we will not see each other

All my friends said he cheated me. I tried to hate him in order to get
over him as well, but deep in my heart, I believe he did love me, only
that his love for me is not strong enough. I try to kill my feelings
for him, but I cannot simply forget him and get on with my life, because
my love and care for this person had been so deep and sincere. I try
to bury the love in my heart, but the tears keep flowing down my face...

Zita, what can I do?


Dear Mng︰