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Dear Zita,
I really need your help.
I met him in a school. He is a school officer working for day school
while I am an officer working for evening school. We knew each other
for around a year. At first, we are just normal so so friend, we seldom
talk. However, for last four months, there
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are some changes. I couldn't
remember when we fall in love with each other.
Actually, I broke up with my 1st boyfriend five months ago because of
his serious disease. I took care him for about a year when he first
discovered that he got a cancer. Initially, I do hope that I can go
through such difficult time with him and then we will have future. However,
as time pass, I become very very tired. I cried for him everyday, go
and from the hospital, from day to night taking care him. But, I could
not sustain it eventually and give up at last (most of my friends said
that I am a girl who need much care instead of taking care others).
In the most difficult time, that man shared with me about my helpless.
Maybe because he is older than me for 15 years (he is now 37), he actually
gave me another view for my bf's matter (I always blamed on my useless
on my ex-bf's matter). I go release later because of that man. He takes
care me very much and eventually we discovered that we fall in love
each other. I forced myself to stop when later I knew that he has got
married. I told him that I will never be a third party, however, he
said that he has already separated with his wife before we meet. He
asked me not to think that I was a third person. He said to me that
he will leave me if he cannot solve his own problems since he doesn't
want me to be unhappy every time when I am with him. He said that his
wife is not the problem as they both agreed to separate, but the problem
is his mother. He loves his mother very much and at the present time
his mother went to hospital because of her own disease, her mother doesn't
know that her son has separated with his wife. He doesn't want to tell
his mother about it because she is sick. That is why he said that he
needs time to settle his problems first.
I don't know if I should wait him. I don't know how to handle such problems.
Should I believe him? He asked me to give two months to him to settle
the problem, if he can't, he will leave me as he said it is unfair to
me if I continue to be with him. Zita, what should I do? For me, I have
a clear mind that we shouldn't have any physical contact before he settled
his problem, although we have kissed each other, it is a limit to me.
Best Regards,
LL
Dear LL︰
你做得對。在此期間，不要與他有肉體接觸，既然他未能解決他的個人問題，你若與他太深入發展，事情只會變得複雜。
愛情從來不是簡單的事，這一個case，是他正與妻子分開，而他的母親又有點阻滯，也不是甚麼大不了嘛，最緊要他肯真心。
我認為，他兩個月之後仍然拖泥帶水諸多藉口，這個人就有問題。
要是他兌現兩個月的承諾，証明了他靠得住，你便與他一起吧。兩個月，你有條件等。
深雪覆
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