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Dear Zita,

I am 35 now and have a boyfriend
for 5 years. Since I am not young now and we have together for 5 years,
both of our parents and our friends pushing us to get married. Recently,
I am confused and keep asking myself that should I get married with
him.

He is a guy younger than me 2 years,

he is nice but passive, do
not have any planning and reluctant to stuy (plan) for future. We always
have dispute and agure (argue) whenever we see each other. Even we are
together 5 years, but we are not close. I found him as my playmate rather
than boyfriend because he cannot help me in any aspect. His education,
his salary, his family background and his connection are poorer than
me, I worried that once I get married with him, I must take the most
of the expenses of the family, I really feel pressure.

The most important point is that I don't love him now. (thre (we) do
not have any third party). Zita, if I don't love him, but he is a nice
guy, should I get married with him? If I don't get married with him,
I am afraid he will be crazy and I also worried that I am unable to
find another guy, because I am not young now.

Zita, do you think the feeling of love will come back if I get married
with him? Please...give me some advice. Thanks a lot.

Best regards,


Scott




Dear Scott:

你不妨嫁給他,繼續把他定位為同伴,經濟上、心理上自己獨立。

你嫁了給他之後,奇蹟不會出現,他依然會是如此,而你也不會更愛他。但你不必需要深愛一個人才嫁給他。你問問心,婚姻於你,一定只可以為了愛情嗎?

真的,如果你不嫁他,你就會無結婚機會。倘若你可以瀟灑終老,就是另一回事。

如果,愛情忽然在你婚後才來,你便離婚吧!這也不失為一個兩全其美的辦法。

深雪覆