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Dear Zita,

I am 25 turning to 26 this
year. I have a stable relationship with a Chinese guy in HK for nearly
10 months now. I feel very secure with this guy, even though sometimes
he is boring. He is a guy who is not romantic type, but a very caring
person, and also very "family orientated".

We get along quite well, in
fact he loves me very much and so am I, and I trust him. But the more
we know each other, the more "problems" we found between us.
i.e. His family don't like me because I am not a "hard working"
girl, and I can't communicate with his parents because they speak very
little Cantonese but always speaks their own dialect and I felt like
a fool when I have dinner with them together. And I don't know how to
relate or to please his parents.

It is a matter to us because
my boyfriend put his family (especially his mother) in a very important
place. He is very obedience to his family, and he felt upset about I
am not getting along with his family.

Zita, it is easy for me to leave him and find another one, but I am
quite serious about this guy, what can I do? I believe he will marry
me in the future and we will not live with his parents, but I do want
him to feel perfect in every part of his life. And I hope me and his
parents will not become a worriness (worry) to my beloved boy friend.
But I am not bought up in a very traditional Chinese family, I do not
know how to get along with his parents. Please advise.

Thanks Zita. Wish you happy new year!


Somebody




Dear Somebody︰

你遇上的只是小問題。他的父母不是不喜歡你,只是與你一樣,深感溝通有阻。

每次見他們,你都禮貌週週就好了,其餘的事,不用費心。

你做了本份,別人要挑剔你,你奈甚麼何?

每段戀愛都有阻力,你這一種,算少。

深雪覆