對他仍有感覺 – 覆Memory

 

Hi Zita,

I'm feeling very confuse now.
I have a colleage (colleague) cum ex-bf cum friend (now) here which
we can actually meet each other almost everyday as we work in the same
office & needs to co-operate both at work & with our hobbies.
As we were together before in the past, we are


almost having the same kind of activity even after work. After our breakup,
at the beginning we feel very awkward/hurt when we saw each other but
it turns better after a period of time & a talk of getting back to
be friends. I was the 1 to initiate it, firstly to prevent future awkwardsness
& I believe we can do so.

Its been about 1 year+ till now after the breakup. During this period,
there's a lots of ups & downs between us. Its kinda that we can't
really get back to treat each other like just normal friends. (Does this
happens to friends after breakup?) He gives me a feeling that he'll be
very careful & suspicious of the things that I do that involves him,
most of the time, but will still cares & treats me very good &
can even talk about some very private things with me sometimes which is
quite unusual for him. His ways make me sometimes quite hurt & uncomfortable
+ confuse/blur too. (Why is it so? is it that he still can't put down
our past relationship?)

As for myself, I'm trying ways to control myself as to give in to him
mostly & not to do anything that may make him feel bad or uncomfortable
(by my understanding towards him) in order to maintain the friendship.
I know myself that I still have some feelings for him as he is my 1st
bf but I also understand that love cannot be force so I just wish to still
be friends with him & to know that he's happy & fine (that's all).
But it seems very hard to do so as we start to have arguments very frequently
over small matters because of his suspicious & different pt of view
while doing something together which it never happened in the past (over
the same matter).

It makes me feeling very down & confuse now of what can I do to improve
the situation. Can you teach me?

What can I do if I can't talk to him as he is the kind of guy that reject
to say out his feelings & avoid/run away to talk/discuss about problems?

Nextly, may I know which way is better?

1) To tell him straightly of how I feel that I still have feelings for
him but not that kind of forcing to want him back. (I'm afraid that may
scare him off again & everything turn back to the awkward situation
with all the efforts done previously down into the drain) or

2) To try to tolerate him again hoping that he can realize 1 day &
change his attitude. (At least friendship can remain but predict that
not much improvement will be done), or

3) Any good ideas?

Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks for the advise.


Memory




Dear Memory︰

你的問題在於你對他仍然有意思,因此他感應得到,於是怕了你。

你明白嗎?分手後做朋友的戀人不可能仍然親近如昔,所謂做朋友,是一年見兩次那一種。

而你要了解清楚,他有冇與你做朋友的興趣,與及想與你做甚麼朋友。

如果你想他對你自然些,你就不要找他,讓他去找你。以後也是這樣。

深雪覆

 

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