I have a problem here hoping
that you can help me. Firstly, I'll like to know, can a couple still
be friends even after break up? Even if its not with a silence break
or smooth breakup? For my case, I've been with my ex for about 9mths
till he requested for a breakup with the reason that he feels
he's not suitable for me. At
the very 1st beginning, I can't take it & keep on trying to request
for a patch back & the true reason behind. But after about a month
of cooling down & ignorance from him, I've think thru & learnt
to accept the fact. But as we are both working in the same company,
we'll be able to meet each other very often & sometimes needs to
co-operate because of work.
So actually, I've managed to control myself of not asking anymore about
the past relationship & lastly only hope that we can both still
be friends after the breakup as I feel that none of us was to be blame
as nobody was wrong for the past relationship & believe that actually
we will be able to be friends as we are very good friends before the
Then I started to approach him & react normally every time when
I met him. At the very 1st few mths, I'm still feeling very hurt as
I notice that he keeps on avoiding me & treats me like a stranger.
But after a few talk & probably a few mths of cooling down (him)
too. He started to begin accept me as a friend & treats me better.
But I can still feel/notice that he still think in the way that he don't
believe that I can accept the fact & change my feelings towards
him so quickly as he'll still be very careful of what he says &
do to me. I understand why is he so & just reacted normally. Luckily
its changes better & better after a period. Till now its about 10mths
of breakup & normal friendship with us, I thought that he had totally
believe in me & can take me as a good friend already. As during
this period we can actually had lunch together, watch movie & even
travel oversea with only the 2 of us without any problem occurs. Until
now then I notice its not really true, as 1 day on my birthday, I have
a small request towards him of accompanying me to play at a beach side
& he agrees.
But on that day he ask me whether can he ask other along, I refuse &
tell him the true that I hope that we can just go together without others
along as I may feel very embarrass even if I know the people. Then he
started to feel weird about this & keep on pushing me for a reason
on why cannot there be others around & why I want only the 2 of
us. We nearly have a quarrel about this. I believe he begin to be suspicious
of me again...& is trying to avoid me again. I'm feeling very bad
& confuse now as to see that everything seems to change back to
the past time again after all the afford that I've done previously.
Can you tell me what I can do now? Is it really something wrong with
my request? Or is it really something wrong with me or him? What do
you think he is thinking? Can I get to maintain the friendship with
him? Actually my friends tell me that its hard/not possible to get back
to friends after a breakup. Is it true? Please help me...I really wish
that we can still be friends even if we cannot be lovers....
Hope to hear from you soon... sorry about the long long passage....