痛苦的單戀 – 覆Sad Jeannie

Hi Zita,

My name is Jeannie. I am living
in L.A. I have a really big problem that I wish you could slove (solve)
for me!

I met this guy around 3 years ago. Once I knew him I already know he
has a girlfriend in HK. They've been together for 2 years. At first
I knew him from my best friend. Coz she was deep in love with him already
at that time. She told me every single little things about him. So I
didn't need to talk to him and I knew everything about him already.
After 3 months me and him got to know each other more and more. And
I found out he is a really different person from all of the guys that
I know! Everyone love to hang out with him, even guys! Coz he is a really
nice person! After that me and him hang out a lot too.


One day, me and him tried to run across the road. Coz there were too
many cars, so he held my hand and ran across together. At that time
my face turned red and I was so shy. And I knew I love him. But coz
my best friend likes him and he has a girlfriend too. So I forced myself
so hard not to love him. But the more I forced the more I loved him!

I started to talk on the phone with him at night. We could talked for
4 hrs on one night! He told me a lot of stuff about his family and his
girlfriend which he never been tell anyone. And we went out everyday.
It was the happiest time I had in my life! When he was back to hk during
summer, I called him and got to pay the Long Distance bill. etc.

Time was pasting and he transfer to another school. And I realized that
I got to move on. Coz there wouldn't be a ending for us. So I didn't
find him any more. Only like once or twice a week then two or three
weeks. We met each other like once in a month. I thought I could forget
about him. But I couldn't.

During last year's may, one of my friend told me he is leaving back
to hk again for the summer. So I called him and he said yes. I was a
little bit sad at that time. But it was ok coz he would come back for
school again.

For the time he left for 3 months again I tried so hard to forget him.
I didn't call him. Didn't see him online. So we didn't keep in touch
at all for that 3 months. And one day one of my friends told me that
he would never comes back. Neverever. Coz he is staying in hk to study.
My tears dropped rite away in front of my friend. I can't move on. I
still love him so much! Ever now he has been gone for more than a year.
We only keep in touch with e-mails once a month or maybe less. But I
still couldn't move on. I still miss him every single day. All I know
is that at the same time when I missed him, he is with his girlfriend.
I did really try my best to move on. And there are some other guys here
right beside me that I could choose from. But I still couldn't pull
myself out!

What can I do to make myself totally forget that guy?


Sad Jeannie


 



Dear Sad Jeannie︰

這是一段痛苦的單戀,甚至心理不健康。

我會讓自己明白,這全是妄想。他有女朋友,也條件太好,兼且不留在你身邊。由始至終,你也只是朋友一個。

如果我暗戀一個人,我會當成是崇拜偶像那樣地去仰慕他,我會默默欣賞他,但不會奢想他以愛情回報我。

狂戀一個偶像的人會被視為不正常。狂戀一個朋友,情況也是差不多。

他可以令你迷失至此,我認為,這個人非常剋你,最好敬而遠之。

深雪覆

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