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Dear Zita,

Hello, I have a small problem, hope you won't
think it is too childish!

I am 20 years old. I met my first bf (boyfriend)
(A) around a year and a half ago. Then around one year ago, we started
going out. B4 (Before) going out with me, he had a gf (girlfriend) (B),
but they broke up before he started chasing me. We were just friends
when they broke up.

Maybe I were too generous,
I didn't mind A seeing B at that time, then finally A told me that he
still couldn't forget B. So we broke up after only two months of together.
At that
time, I didn't hate A or B, I just accepted it. Now A and B are back
together. Me and A are ok friends. Me and B were never friends, we act
like strangers even if we see each other.

Around half a year ago, another
friend of mine told me that B was spreading rumors of me, saying something
really bad. I didn't believe it, trying to find envidence (evidence)
to proof it was not true, but I couldn't.

Then one nite, I heard with
my own ears that some of her friends were saying sth (somethings) bad
right behind me, she was there at that time too. I was mad, and I started
to hate B.

2 months ago a good friend of
her told me that it is still true that she dislikes me. But I
still hope everything is a misunderstanding, I want to be friends with
her. Until today, I met her in an online chat place, I know it is her,
but I bet she doesn't know it is me. She is very nice to me in the chat
place. If I cont (continue) to pretend I don't know the real her, I
am afraid one day she would find out and things would turn out really
bad. (coz (because) there are ppl (people) from our same sch (school)
chatting there too). If I tell her now, I am also afraid she would stop
talking to me. I don't want us to act like strangers anymore. We have
some common friends, but when I go out with them, A and B never show
up, I think maybe because I am here. So these days, I just contact these
friends less. I don't want them to have a hard time adjusting between
me and A+B.

Zita, what's the best way to
deal with this?

Thanks for any advice!

silly girl


Dear
silly girl︰

你是一名非常大方而且好心腸的女孩子。

首先,我想你明白一點,這位B小姐已經視你為仇人,好「唱衰」你、痛恨你,令你難以立足。此等為人,還可以做朋友嗎?

如果,你只想修補一下你與她的關係,不妨在電腦中坦白你的身分,然後告訴她,你十分之欣賞她,想與她做朋友。你要先討她她,她才會接受你。她已恨了你太久。

如果你能成功地將她化敵為友,你的人際關係會大大改善,我亦相信,此件事也會是你的良好訓練。

你一邊說些令她高興的話,另一邊表現出你真誠而大方的個性,讓她也欣賞你。如果,她不為所動,你就不要再惹她。講真,她都幾得人驚。

深雪覆