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Dear Zita,

Hello! I broke up with my boyfriend (he was my first boyfriend) 2 months ago, because he didn't care about my feeling at all when we were together, also he is the kind of person that loves himself more than anything else. We didn't contacteach other after we broke up.About a month ago,

I found that I still missed him a lot, and all the memories suddenly came back to my mind. Although I know he is not a good boyfriend, I still want to be with him again.

However my dignity kept telling me not to go back to him, as this will hurt my dignity. As I was taught by my mum that girls should always maintain their dignity, otherwise boys will not treasure you. Therefore I always have 2 thoughts fighting in my mind, modern and conservative, which makes me feel very tired. My mum doesn't understand why I always make things so complicated. But human feelings and emotions are complicated, I think!

I encourage myself that if I love a person, I shouldn't care about my dignity too much, because I know if I don't tell him my feeling, this is going to be a regret in my life, no matter this is right or wrong. Because of this, I wrote him a letter few days ago. In the letter I didn't mention that I want him to be my boyfriend again, just giving him a msg (message) that I still care about him.

What kind of approach should I take towards this matter? Am I not brave enough to love a person?? Am I really damaging my dignity now? Or should I forget about dignity, as we are now in the modern society?


Please help! Thanks very much!

Yours sincerely,

Silly girl




Dear Silly girl︰

摧毀自尊不是你所談的「modern」,保留自尊,也不「conservative」。而是,你的戀愛觀念有點扭曲。女人,戀愛的目的除了去愛之外,就是尋求被愛,你與這個男人一起,你也嫌他完全不顧你感受,他根本不愛你。

或許,因為是初戀,因此你捨不得,於是想回頭。

我的建議是,你該放棄他,尋找一名互相相愛的人,那些愛你太少,傷你的心的人,只在摧毀你的青春。

深雪覆