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Hi Zita︰

I've been bother by this problem for several months now. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think I should go see a psychologist.

When I found out my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is divorced and she's back in HK, I tried to find out what she look

like. I went to her work place and follow her. She's pretty……and this makes me feel very bad.

I've a strong desire to know all her private life. I want to know what she wears, what she like to eat, where she wants to hang out and where she lives. I start to think I want to become friends with her. What's wrong with me? I know I'm not lesbian.

Although I know my boyfriend haven't seen or spoke to her for at least three years. When I asked him about her, he seems to enjoy their times together very much. I don't know if this is jealousy or if this has became something else. I think about her all the time. What should I do? Please help.

Michelle



Dear Michelle︰

你這種心理來說,某些歐洲電影也會有這種情節,沒有你自己以為那樣不合理及嚴重,我反而覺得頗有趣味性。

你與男朋友之前的女朋友有種心理連繫是正常的,大家愛過同一個男人,都是一種緣份。

我懷疑,你本身真正的朋友不多,當你與男朋友有問題時,沒有人可以入心地明白你。而他的前度女友,估計有此能力吧!你深心處一直都在想︰「啊,如果能與她交朋友,我的心事就有傾吐之處。」

只是,我勸你別太主動認識她,你的心態她未必會明,你男朋友更加不會明白,你太強求與她結識,只會嚇怕她與他。

直覺上,那名前度女友已有她的新生活,她有她自己的世界,大概對你與你男朋友的世界已沒有太大興趣。你渴望接觸她,只是你一廂情願。

不如對其他女性打主意吧!向其他女性發展友誼,是你目前要做的事。

深雪覆